I see you in my dreams everyday. Even though you are still around, you are still far away. Your eyes talking to mine in the dark, in day light , both eyes are shut. The memories linger, it haunts me like a ghost , every day and every night. Dear Father, I miss you , even though you are so close to me. is it fate ? or is it reality? I will never know. All I know is one thing. I love you..
If my thoughts are heartless, then you are the convict of creating them. Those illusions drove me to the depend of emotions. It created anxiety, it created a wrath that began as a seed and grew into a poison tree. You made me who I am today. For that, I am going to say to you. “THANKS!!! “
I sorted out some problems within
With some alcohol
And some foreplay with my heart strings
It worked for a while
Until I broke down
With musings of the past
Haunting and hunting me down
Am I confused? I believe I am
Or I am crazy? I don’t know about that
This life was one, that I thought I could make great
Yet it is turning to something I thought it won’t be
Is it worth to comprehend all this ?
Should I just give up and let it all flow?
Only the heavens above can answer this query
Until then, I will wait , but no one knows how
The mind is a devil’s workshop encompassed by skin , morals and learning’s. Yet the devil does come out from time to time, gluing itself on souls without a warning. Generating dark emotions , desires and thoughts. Yet, we control ourselves, willingly or unknowingly. This defines the reason why life is a mystery, Our mind doesn’t know what it does sometimes . So the question arise. Do we know what life really means?
Heart yearns for your warmth again. A touch of your hand, the hearing of your voice , calling me “son”. The look in your eyes and your unconditional , loving smile. The soul yearns for all of that. Yet, time has turned tables on us and we remain detached , even though we are very close to each other. Life can be unforgiving sometimes, it is a god’s creation and a devil’s workshop who takes controls of our emotions and well being. Time has done a life size movie on us. And I only urge, hope and pray one thing. That this movie will have a happy ending.
This heart deserves some solace; some peace. Yet, it is weathering a storm, bears poison of pain, blossoming anger , frustration , jealousy and all the rest of the particles that leads to demise. Why do we have a heart anyway? When in the end it is meant to be broken? Why do we try to safe guard it? When it is treated like trash and thrown to the dumps when it is passed its expiry date. Why do we have a heart then when it doesn’t’ deserve to be inside ourselves? We are sinners, who cannot take care of something special, which if used correctly can be a jewel to our soul. Instead it we rape it, we destroy our hearts, thinking that like a lottery, it will reward us back. But the real truth is, it won’t.
Waking up is not easy. when you feel that you are asleep , even when you are awake. Eyes covered with dust and pain that breaks ounces of the heart into pieces, bit by bit, time after time. You hear the outside voices screaming ” get up now, wake up now” . Yet, you end up in sleep with eyes wide open. it is not like you are dead , it is like you are living like a dead person. It is a curse, it is pathetic , it is truly a tragedy.